With my breastfeeding slowing down to a mere two feeds a day I decided it was time to get myself a new bra fresh for going back to work. After muttering away about bra sizes I found a small selection in appropriate sizes, alongside the bras were magic knickers so I bundled up a few sizes and styles and traipsed off to the changing room. Hooray for underwired bras! I've not been able to wear one for the last 9 months as it can affect your milk flow, so my breasts have been fairly unsupported in some rather disgusting weighty and frumpy sacks. They have been merged into one breast for the last 9 months, pushed into one tube around my upper torso, nothing to separate or support them. The main selling feature has not been beauty, it has been if they unclipped for easy access, never has easy access been so unsexy! Finally today I tried on a bra and it lifted and separated my breasts into two and made me feel a little bit more like a woman again and not just a milk machine mum. It has made me feel so much happier about them, they no longer look droopy, they are lifted and are contained in lace.
On the downside I tried to gain the same feeling by trying on a pair of magic knickers. Every makeover T.V programme raves about them: Gok Wan, Trinny and Suzanne etc. I got my size and selected two different styles, one that was almost normal looking and that offered to hide my 'mummy tummy' and the other was a long tube that gave support all the way up to under the bust. After feeling so excited about my new bust shape, all was shattered the moment I tried to squeeze into the knickers. They are supposed to be tight to keep it all in but I don't think they should be this tight! It felt like the first pair was shaving off part of my hips trying to get them on. Once they were on my 'mummy tummy' had disappeared but instead of flattening it, it seemed to have just pushed it all upwards and over the top of the knickers in a huge bulge. So much for magic knickers, it didn't magic the bump away it just redistributed it in another tube of flab in a very strange position on my body. I managed (just about) to extract my way out of them and tried on the other pair. This one was longer and stopped just under the bust. Perfect all my lumps and bumps had disappeared, they were indeed magic but I could no longer breathe or move. After taking them both off the tops of my thighs were red raw. Perhaps I'll just have to come to terms with my mummy tummy or stop eating the biscuits and do some exercise! Yes, that is what I'll do, I'm going to go on a health kick and get rid of it and abracadabra myself into shape.
It didn't last long, I came back and ate a whole packet of biscuits!
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