Over the last few weeks Tilly has totally changed, she is far more content and just generally a delight to be with. I don't know why she has changed but she has and I love it. It wasn't until the other day, I put her down to sleep and she went down like a dream: dummy in, music on and she was off. I came downstairs and Richard remarked how quick it was and without any fuss, "she's like a real baby now". And yes, I suppose she is. He's right, we finally have a real baby and more importantly a good baby.
A few examples are that when I used to take her to Sainsurys I'd rarely get past the bananas and she'd start screaming for the rest of the shopping trip. In the past I've had to carry her around in my arms whilst pushing the trolley or on one occasion got a personal shopper to push my trolley and get me my shopping while I carried Tilly. It sounds quite a luxury but it wasn't a pleasant experience, rather than just browse I had to tell the assistant what I needed and we went around together. She was lovely for helping me, I think she could see how much I was struggling.
But yesterday I went to Sainsurys and as I walked past the bananas I could feel my back tense up and my step quicken to get as much done as I could before she started. A few isles on and she was still smiling and as I waited for the grizzles with a fixed smile on my face, she started to blow raspberries at me and in order to entertain her I did the same. We did this the whole way around the shop, we got strange looks from people as I talked loudly about everything I was doing whilst blowing the occasional raspberry but I didn't care - I was shopping and Tilly wasn't crying. Big tick #1 for Tilly.
Baby clinic has also carried the same amount of stress. Stuck in a large room full of babies of varying ages and sizes and lots of chattering mums. Usually Tilly is lovely and smiling when we arrive, queue up to be weighed, get her undressed and as soon as we pop her on the scales she is off. She has quite a loud scream for a little one. The screaming stops momentarily when she is lifted off until I dare to do the worst thing of all - I put her arm in her sleeve and she's off again. She sets off all the other babies but still manages to be an octave higher and louder, the other mums try to console their babies and shoot me evil looks as I desperately fumble to get her dressed and back out again as fast as possible. But once again Tilly has surprised me, we went off to baby clinic today, the last time I'll go to Whoberley as it is held on a Tuesday. I got her in, undressed, weighed and dressed again without so much of a peep. I am so proud of her. I even noticed rather than embarrassingly rushing out of the door with a crying baby, I left with my head held up high, smiling and my baby sitting up happily in her pram. Wow - Big tick # 2 for Tilly.
Thinking about it she really is a totally different baby. She goes to sleep by herself in her crib without much fuss (#3), she feeds well now (#4), she is on solids (#5), she smiles (#6), she can sit up unaided* (#7), she giggles (#8), her hand to eye coordination is fabulous (#9), really the list could go on and on. She just needs to sleep through the night and she'd be almost perfect.
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At baby clinic today, I saw Roxy Lee and her mum. It was nice seeing them and we had a good chat about our babies, finally she is someone that is honest and real about motherhood. Roxy is on solids too now, two jars a feed! We talked about how difficult it can be, our hatred of mother and baby groups and sleepless nights (or not in her case, lucky thing). It was so refreshing. I mentioned I was going back to work and she is too, sadly though she is going back on Weds - Fridays and I'm Mon - Weds. I thought that I should have contacted her sooner, we could have shared stories and supported each other, now our days will clash so it is another opportunity missed. Maybe she was the link that I was missing and now it is too late.
After that we went to see Richard at work. He is so proud of Tilly. He has always loved her but her new found 'contentedness' has gained her more fussing and fascination. She in turn looks adoringly into his eyes and smiles, a big gummy grin followed by a dollop of drool.
* Tilly is sitting up unaided, pretty much since Friday but now she is going for longer and longer periods. It is so nice as she can sit and reach for her toys so I can get on with things a little more instead of sitting there having to hand them back when she has dropped them.
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