Pee and sympathy

Lorna messaged me a few days ago and was so supportive. Such a breath of fresh air, talking to another normal mum.

Message from Lorna.

"Hi Siobhan - sorry for the lack of accent I have a silly computer!
How are you doing?
Went to work today and saw Heather and she was telling me that you had been into work with little Matilda Grace already!!!! Am very impressed - I think it took me 6 months to get William there to show him off - actually getting out of the house is a major test so to achieve a work visit so soon is a blinking fab thing! Am just sorry to have missed you both.

Wanting to go back to work doesn't make you a bad Mummy, it makes you normal! It's a bloody enormous shock having a baby! There's the birth thing and then the reality of it all. The emotions, the blessed guilt, the sheer exhaustion of it, the responsibility, the way you kind of loose your identity and become this being that is A Mummy! And the effort and hard work that no one else seems to understand and very infrequently praises you for.......

So, I reckon your normal for wanting to go back. I did. Work is safe and I feel confident there, I know what I'm doing, whereas, a newborn is a very different thing. I certainly felt well out of my comfort zone...way out of it like right to the other side of the word out of it!

Every day is a major learning curve and the first 6 weeks are hell on earth - it does get better and easier.

I'm often at a loose end so if you fancy visitors or coming here give me a shout. Always happy to chat. Don't sit there feeling pants - phone......or if you're not feeing pants ignore me and tell me to poke my nose out!!!

Lorna
xxx"

Hi Lorna,

Thank you for your message, and the first one too. I never got around to responding, each time I sit down at the computer she wakes up - she is naturally weaning me off facebook I think!

Your message is so encouraging. I know I am doing OK but there are certainly pinch points each day for about an hour or two where I just don't know what to do with her, she is clean, fed and she just screams. I just can't settle her - that and just being exhausted just makes me feel rubbish. When I try to talk to Richard about it he didn't understand as she was sleepy when we first brought her home and so he hadn't seen her at her worst, each time he came home last week she was fast asleep and just grizzles but doesn't scream in the evening. I felt like it was all in my mind and was looknig forward to him experiencing it this weekend, on Saturday she was as good as gold for the morning and it didn't kick in until late afternoon but then it came and finally I felt a huge relief as Richard tried to cope as she screamed. I think now he has a greater understanding but still gets upset if I say flippant comments like I want to go back to work. Of course I don't deep down but it would be nice sometimes to actually finish that cup of tea, go for a pee without it being a military operation. Don't get me wrong, I have 11 nieces and nephews so I knew it wasn't going to be easy but I think until it is your responsibilty and there is no let up you just don't realise what it is like until it happens to you.

I am going to Breastfeeding Cafes to get me out and about and I have enrolled us on a baby massage course. But I find them all a bit dull at the mo, as they are just all about babies, again I know that is the main reason for going but it is already boring me stupid - my life is consumed with babies all day so why do I want to talk about them constantly when I am out? I am still a little nervous about going further afield and I've only fed her in 'public' once and that was with Richard with me. I think a lady in the chemist summed it all up when on day 12 I was out getting a prescription and she came up to me and said, "Is that your first? Shock 'nnit?"

Anyway, I can't believe I have managed to write all of this without her waking up. I'd love to meet up soon,I'll drop you a line when I am feeling brave again!
S

Hello!
You're doing more than okay by the sounds of it - you're doing great! Physically I hope you're healing okay from the birth too... do your pelvic floor excersises.... they really help.
Blokes don't get it really, cos they don't ever get the one on one intensity of it, so it's positive for you both that he does get a taster of what it's like so you don't feel like you're on your own and he can support you and understand. It is a testing time - Joe and me used to row about the silliest things - usually who was the most tired which was a frankly stupid argument as obviously it was me!!!! Daniel Kitson is on in May - you should chase down a babysitter and get out for the night......

I totally get the loo and tea thing. I once had a number two with a screaming Daniel on my lap and William asking why I didn't have a willy!!!!! It's the lack of space to even go and be just a primitive human being that's hard to handle at times!

Baby massage is brilliant - I did it with William - and it really helped me to bond with him as I didn't initially and I'm not ashamed to say it!! Gosh what a terrible mother!

Your confidence will grow and grow, and there will be no stopping you! Anytime you want a destination we're just in Dunchurch so it's not too far and there's a cup of tea here!

Off to do the school run.....
x