Wednesday 15 October 2008

I usually love my job

but today I've had the worst day I've had in years. 

Coventry Market the Musical! is my latest project, another big scale whole station community project.  It has been a struggle and a very steep learning curve so far, I've never done TV or film before so I feel like a fraud as I talk confidently about Track and Dolly, DSR450s, adrenalin edits and the like, not really knowing what they all mean.   I'm getting there though. 

Yesterday I had to make a brief visit to the Herbert's recording studios, lay down a track, whizz down to the East End of London to finish the mix down.  Again, I may sound like I know what I'm doing but I'm merely orchestrating others to get the job done.  Yesterday was full of stress and fun, I got back late at night and had to email the finished track through to my Editor.  I was exhausted and I'd hardly seen Tilly at all.   

Today, was an all day shoot, a 12 hour shoot.  It was an optimistic timetable with lots of scenes, participants (all of whom have never done this before), a student film crew (who had only just been taught how to use the kit), a cameraman I'd never met before and did not know the market, expensive kit that needed to be kept an eye on, lots of anxious market traders worried that we'd cause too much disruption and affect their trade and to top it all off,  three show OBs!   
It didn't start well when Benjamin (the director) texted to say he was stuck in traffic and from then on my day got progressively worse.  I had to deal with the lot, be the one responsible and keep my head.  I think I may have coped better if I hadn't had two six day weeks at work for the two weeks before and nearly 8 months of disturbed sleep, and not been to London the day before. But that was what had happened.   The film crew were fantastic in the end, they went on through breaks, they didn't want to stop.  The exhausting timetable was too optimistic and by 5pm we were an hour and a half behind schedule (even without any breaks) and 100 chorus members were charging through the doors waiting for 'their moment'.  The market wasn't open to the public at this point and we had to keep them all entertained and contained.  We had to rehearse them for the final scenes which was so hard as we only knew roughly what was supposed to happen and Benjamin could turn up and change it all.  Finally the film crew did get a 15 minute break.  Sadly I couldn't join them there were choir members all chomping at the bit and I had to make sure that they didn't feel cheated in their experience in this project. 
rh aside I had almost had enough.  I knew it was starting to show.  I wanted so many times to walk away, instead I carried on dealing with problems, this time with security men threatening to close the car park with everyone's cars in.   

I chatted to a member of the choir who is 8 months pregnant, she'd also brought her daughter with her.  As I stood and chatted watching her daughter, I realised how much I missed and felt so guilty about the time I wasn't spending with Richard and Tilly due to this project. I could feel myself getting emotional. 

The shoot was supposed to close at 9pm.  We finished the shoot at 9.20pm.   After escorting the last choir member out, packing up the kit and tidying up I had well and truly had enough.  

We'd finished. I felt like I was finished too.  I packed up the kit into the car and said my goodbyes to the film crew.  I walked to my car and I could feel the tears form in my eyes, as soon as I got into the car they flowed and then turned into hollering all the way home.  I am exhausted.  As soon as I walked into the house I broke down.   I'm sacrificing a lot for this project.  My health, my mind, and more importantly my daughter and my husband.  Richard has been a total star throughout, he'd practically been a single dad with the evening rehearsals, weekend recording and filming days.  I have a lot of making up to do once this is all over. 

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