Friday 27 February 2009

"I don't know why you're the one crying"

 . . . no one ever likes having them done.  Alongside the media spotlight on Jade Goody's battle against cervical cancer came my reminder letter for my smear test from the doctors.  
The appointment was supposed to be last Friday evening but the nurse cancelled at the last minute, how inconsiderate - I'd waxed and everything!  I rearranged for today, not a great time, 11.30am - when I've got Tilly with me.  I tried to get Tilly to sleep early in the morning so she'd be happy to play by herself during the appointment.  I took a toy and a box a raisins, usually a surefire way of keeping her occupied.  The timing didn't work out, she was still tired and clingy when we got there, I set up her playing on the floor with the toys and her raisins but as soon as I walked a metre away to the bed she started to scream.  

Smears are always undignified, I mean how on earth can you have any dignity with your legs spread apart whilst someone shoves a stick up your bits 'to have a scrape around' for samples.  I'd cleverly worn a skirt, last time I hadn't thought it through and worn jeans and a top and there is that really awkward and embarrassing bit where you have to walk around with all your bottom half on display.  In the end, Tilly's screaming was so distracting that the nurse brought her over to see me and I had the examination with her sitting on my stomach, still howling her head off.  "I don't know why you're the one crying" I told her as the nurse was busy at the other end of the bed.  Believe it or not, it was actually weirdly better than all the other smear tests I've ever had!  The distraction of having her on my tummy and trying to calm her down meant I didn't have time to feel as embarrassed or uncomfortable.  

Examination over and I was able to get dressed.  The nurse and I laughed about little ones and she told me how it gets more difficult as they get older, mainly as they are so inquisitive that they often want to be down at the 'action end'*.  Phew, at least I got away with her just sitting on my tummy.  

*Mental note for the future: I must remember that next time I really need to do them when she can be looked after by someone else.

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