I was told that there were some pictures of me from Downsview school on Facebook. I was quite surprised as I don't really have any recollection of that school. I know I went there for a bit but I didn't think it was long...let alone that there'd be any pictures lurking. I befriended the girl who uploaded the photos and there they were, a handful of photos of me aged about 5.
It was the early 80's and one would expect a certain degree of fashion crime but my goodness what a crime! With a shot of short, curly GINGER hair and party clothes that look more 1880's than 1980's I was a sight. But what I noticed more than any of that was my expression, my place. I saw a little girl on the edge of the group, in the centre but seemingly not engaged, someone distant. I've often worried about Tilly's social skills I've worried because I don't want her to be like I was: shy, disengaged, lonely. Looking at those photos of me, it was everything that I'm scared of for her..But hopefully that will not be the story for Tilly. She can be shy but she is also confident, funny, kind and loving.
Memories are funny things. I remember play school up at the church hall at the top of the road and I remember my first day at St Barts. I know I went to Downsview for a bit but there is a gap I don't remember. I've worked out that the bit I don't remember is the period when Pat walked out and mum went into hospital. Perhaps I've blocked it out for a reason. What else don't I remember?
