Matilda's diary

Tilly's reading book this week was 'Kipper's Diary'. We talked about diaries and what they were and why people kept them. So this week Tilly has kept her own diary.


Here it is, starts on Wednesday.

What she failed to mention about this bath was that it was the first ever poo-in-the-bath incident. Funnily enough I was filming their incredibly high pitched screaming but managed to miss the moment, just got reaction here. 















Thursday

When blue skies turn bad...when we set off for school it looked a bit drizzly but nothing prepared me for the horizontal driving rain downpour mid way to school, poor Mima got it worse as she was in the pushchair and the raincover was in the car that Richard had taken to work. This was us on arrival.

Friday

Saturday

We rarely go swimming, especially as a  family...the trip didn't go very well. Mima screamed constantly as she is a little under the weather at the moment. After approx 20 mins in the water we were all asked to get out, the session was stopped soon after as there was 'something' in the water. Nice.

Sunday

We must be potty!

Now I am not suggesting for one minute that Tilly is being potty trained (I know it is all the rage in San Fransisco where mum's claim to have their baby's trained by 6 months - yeah right!), but nursery get all the babies used to sitting on the potty from 7 months.  Richard picked Tilly up from nursery and they proudly announced that she'd done a poo and a wee on her potty!  Well, after hearing some horror stories about toddlers freaking out and not liking their potties during training it makes sense that we get her used to the potty and continue what is happening at nursery.  

I went to Woolies to buy a potty.  On that note it was a sad day, Tilly will never know a trip to Woolworths - the joys of pic'n'mix and great childhood memories.  

When we got back I looked at the potty and thought I must be potty to be using it with Tilly at her age.  However as soon as her little hands started turning her imaginary taps* on I quickly got her nappy on and sat her on her potty.   Sure enough a little push later and Tilly had indeed done a poo on her potty!   I was so delighted I even took a picture and sent it to Richard at work and just in case you are sad you're missing out I've posted it here. Apologies for any offence but I've posted it small in case you're disgusted, but it is a part of mine and Tilly's life . . and this is what this is all about!

Since then I've spotted the signs a few times and we've managed to use the potty effectively. Each time I feel a strange mixture of disgust and pride. 

* Tilly has done this from quite early on, you can always tell a poo is coming when her eyes glaze over, she looks straight through you and her hands at equal distances apart start to move like she is turning on some taps.  

Don't make me laugh I'm trying to hold my breath!

Tilly has received a wonderful and very apt gift from Karen and Mike - Poop happens and it does, a lot! Richard experienced real poo again, coped quite well to start with but with wriggly legs and the smell, I could hear his cries for help getting more frantic. These situations are best dealt with quickly and by holding your breath, so I got to work to get rid as fast as possible. Meanwhile Richard stood almost gagging, his repulsion clear by his coughing and body language followed by retching. I started to laugh and with each breath took in more of the toxic smell. I kept trying to tell Richard to stop but we were both giggling by that point, one of those moments where you really don't want to laugh as I could feel the smell erode my lungs on the way down. Disaster averted. Richard says he is going to have to get a gas mask to do anymore, can you imagine how much he'll scare the poor girl with a mask on?! I hadn't realised that I held my breath through each nappy change until he made me laugh and I breathed the toxic air. In a way I'm quite proud of Matilda, she is helping me get him back for every time he has filled the air with his own toxic farts! Bless him.

Jane and Peter dropped in this weekend on their way back from France. I'd forgotten that Jane doesn't like me talking about Tilly's bogies. It wasn't until I was trying to get a huge one out of her left nostril in front of her that I remembered. She looked horrified, once it was out I said I was going to add it to her 'Bogie album' she looked at me, not quite sure if I was joking or not! What fun!

Real poo

Today was going to be about Tilly's hair growing and her increasing ability to sit up unaided for longer and longer. But then it happened, another pooing incident.

We've had a lovely day. She was in her bouncer and suddenly her face strained, she went red and then started to cry. I quickly removed her from the bouncer. This last week we have progressed from thicker and thicker baby rice to HiPP organic baby food jars. Rather crudely this was bound to change the consistency. She continued to strain and I took her upstairs to her changing unit. I thought I could try to help with what I'd learnt from baby massage. She was crying quite a bit, I was trying to console her but I knew there was nothing I could do but reassure her. I felt so sorry for her. Every time she tried to push, I could see a combination of discomfort and fear in her eyes. I felt totally helpless. I stood over her, holding her hand with my left hand and supporting her legs with my right. She was pushing and crying, she looked petrified. I kept telling her it was OK but I just wanted it to stop. All I could think of was how confusing it must be for her, her poos have always been dramas for me but never for her. They've always been fluid and painless. This, I could tell was going to be different. Then it came with a scream from her - a small, perfectly round hardish little log, followed quickly by another. As it came out, her scream turned from pain to relief, she was still crying almost in horror for what had just happened to her. I was shocked, they've never been like that before. They were like little cat poos. I thought she'd finished. But then her cries were louder again and I could hear Richard's car pull up outside. All I could think of was that it reminded me of my labour. There I was holding her hand . . reassuring her that she needed to push, that it would be OK. And in turn there she was screaming, looking scared at this strange and horrific thing that was happening to her body. Richard came upstairs and there I was in the final stages helping her dispel it all, which was now coming out like toothpaste. What a welcome home! After it was over, I put a nappy back on, picked her up and held her. She calmed down and her tears dried.

I could tell that Richard contemplated, just for a second (as did I) taking a photo of the results of this new phenomenon. But as the thought entered my mind and one half said 'yeah' the other half thankfully brought it back with a resounding 'Oh my goodness, no Shiv, that is a revolting thought'. Tilly is going to hate us enough with all this documentation. Some things are best left to the imagination.

Richard did take a photo of the after effects of this latest event - a surprised, tear stained face.

Poop in Boots

As you may have gathered Tilly's poo is a recurring theme. As, I suppose many mothers and babies lives do - they must, surely it is not just us?

Tilly loves her hanging door frame bouncer and will quite happily spend long periods of time squealing and chatting while she dangles. Spinning around to take in everything that is going on all around her.

Richard was lying on the cream rug looking up at Tilly and I was sitting nearby. We both heard Tilly do a poo. Now, Richard has not been present for many of these exciting poo incidents. I walked over and took the hanger by the bar above her head and carefully lifted her off. But the design of these hangers is that the baby is strapped in like a bungee jumper. So I walked over to Richard and asked him to support her while I carefully lifted her out. It was at this point I made a fatal error, Richard chose to support her (knowing full well what she'd just done) under her crotch. This of course send cascades of poo flowing freely out of the sides of her nappy, down her trouser legs and literally pouring all over the cream rug (and Richard's white fleece top). He jumped and screamed in horror at the mere splash of poo on his arm, while I stared at the poo dribbling all over the cream rug in little pools. I was almost dazed for a second as I've struggled to get poo stains from her clothes after a good soak, how on earth was I going to get it out of a woolen cream thick pile rug?? That only lasted for a second as I quickly rushed her over to the hardwood floor (far easier to clean). She continued to hang dripping, watching as her father flapped with a horrified face and her mother stood over her with a fit of the giggles. Richard was almost shouting, "What do we do, What shall I do?" I asked him to get a carrier bag as she was still dribbling in large quantities all over the floor. Richard returned with a Boots carrier bag and we ignored the Health and Safety advice on the bottom and placed Matilda into the bag feet first with her arms threaded through the handles like a top. This would now contain the poo disaster that had been happening all over the floor. I carried her upstairs, ran the bath and pretty much plunged her in and got her undressed in there. I was still laughing. Mainly as Richard had a combined look of terror and horror on his face. I bet he was glad he went to work everyday and didn't have to deal with this kind of thing. I was delighted as it was a) funny and b) good that he'd experienced a poo incident, I was starting to think that Tilly was timing them all for me to deal with.

Little squealer

Tilly has learnt to squeal like a little piggy. This afternoon she has been in her baby bouncer, dangling in the living room just squealing and smiling at the fact she can make such a high pitched noise. It went on, and on and on. I tried to film it, but as I couldn't find the video camera I used the web cam for some reason the sound wasn't on.

She has also done another exploding poo again. I'm starting to worry about going out as they are soo big and end up completely cover her clothes, legs and everything. Both times I've had to plunge her in the bath with nappy on to get all the poo off and her trousers are ruined - can you imagine if I'd've been out? The texture has changed completely and is now like peanut butter paste, she kept rubbing her legs together while I was trying to clean it up and it was going everywhere. I had to carry her in a very undignified way into the bathroom and plunge her into the water with nappy on.

"I did a poo"

Are these Tilly's first words?

I've spent a long time umming and ahhing about giving Tilly some food. I was given a pot of HiPP's first tastes apple puree. I thought we'd gve it a shot. I decided to film the moment too just in case she pulled any really cute faces. She seemed to like the apple (through some strange faces), but kept opening her mouth for more so I guess she liked it. It was messy and sticky but quite fun. During feeding, she did a trump, and then a poo which you can hear and then when I asked her what she did she gurgles 'did a poo'. I honestly thought that it was just in my imagination but sure enough I've watched it back and it sounds just right.



I couldn't wait for Richard to come home to show him and then as soon as he thought she said it too, I sent it around the family. I've also submitted it to You've Been Framed and Richard & Judy's pick of the home movie slots.

Matilda has never talked so much. She has been jabbering away all day since tasting that apple. I think I'm going to like weaning, it is lovely to hear her chattering.